Family Assessment: What Do Your Parents Really Need?

Family Assessment

What Do Your Parents Really Need?

Often we are so overwhelmed with our own life that we forget to take a moment to consider what our parents are going through and how they are feeling about their changing life circumstances. Your elderly parents or disabled family members are going through things that we can't begin to understand unless we have been in their position. The best way to understand how your loved ones are feeling is to have real, honest conversations with them about their emotions, concerns, desires, and needs. If you truly have the desire to know and provide for your parents emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs, then you must assess where they are, where they want to be, and how to get them there. Their health needs to be a priority and the best way to keep them healthy is to stay in constant communication with them, because they know themselves better than anyone. 

Your loved one is going through a variety of changes, as they are losing some of their independence, mobility, control, and possibly certain relationships. It is easy to overlook some of their very basic needs, such as the need to feel important, the need to be touched, the need to have company, the need to still feel in control, and the need for independence. Every person needs their basic human needs to be met in order for their other needs to be efficiently taken care of. 

Here are some practical steps you can take to help assess your parents needs, in addition to considering your own needs:   (ehow.com)

1. Make your own careful assessment of your parents needs. Prioritize specific areas such as health care, social life, and accommodating changes needs as your parents age. 
2. Communicate with your family member to find out what they want most out of life and what they consider to be their most challenging issues. Make sure you communicate with an open heart and without immediate judgement. 
3. You don't have the energy or time to do everything, so decide what areas you can be most effective in and focus on those. 
4. Take into consideration your parent's personality, background, and life experiences.
5. Keep in mind that you don't really know what it feels like to lose your independence because of old age, until you have been there yourself. 
6. When things get tough, bring up happy, funny, or heartwarming memories. Laughter is always the best medicine when going through trials. Good memories or pictures from the past can heal a heart. 
7. Stay well-informed about your options, gather all the information you can about home health agencies, medicare, etc. 
8. When you are feeling impatient, stay kind towards your parents, when you look back at this time you will be happy you stayed gentle and patient towards them during this time. 

This tips will help you during your assessment process, but you may need some help knowing what questions to ask your parents about their life and their current health situation. There are many questions that will be appropriate to consider and ask your parents when you are trying to make some difficult decisions. You need to be able to ask them about various areas of their health, including their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Here is a helpful resource that gives you lists of questions to start asking in your own family: What Help Does Mom or Dad Really Need?

Your family assessment will be very beneficial for your entire family. When you don't know how to go about your family situation, always remember that selfless, sacrificial love will bring you and your family the most peace and joy!

Here are a couple more resources that may be helpful for you in your journey:

What Your Elderly Parents Really Need From You

How To Help an Elderly Parent