Dementia and Alzheimer's

Dementia and Alzheimer's in the Elderly

Your family is not alone. The effects of dementia and Alzheimer's are devastating, not only to the one suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's, but also to the family members who are coping with this new reality. You may feel alone in this battle, but there are many other families who are struggling with these same circumstances in their own family. Coming to a better understanding about the symptoms and effects of dementia and Alzheimer's, may help change your perspective on this issue. Also, we will provide you will a couple resources that may help you get the support you need during this time. 

First, it is important to understand that although the terms "dementia" and "Alzheimer's" are often used to mean the same thing, they are defined and diagnosed differently. Dementia refers to, "A loss of mental ability severe enough to interfere with normal activities of daily living." This can encompass a wider variety of diseases, but Alzheimer's disease accounts for 60 to 80 percent of dementia cases. 

Although Alzheimer's is most commonly found in and associated with the elderly, it is not a natural part of the aging process. Alzheimer's is a progressive disease that gets worse over time; the intensity and form the symptoms take will change as the disease progresses. For example, in the beginning stages an individual might experience minor memory loss, but in later stages an individual may experience more severe memory loss, affecting their ability to function independently. 

Some of the general symptoms of Alzheimer's include:

• Memory loss, ranging from mild to severe. 
• Disorientation.
• Mood and behavior changes. 
• Deepening confusion about events, time and place.
• Suspicions about family, friends, and caregivers.
• Difficulty speaking, swallowing, and walking.

If any of these symptoms are occurring in you or your family member, a doctor should be seen right away. Although there is no cure for Alzheimer's, there are a few helpful intervention methods that can slow down the process. Early diagnosis is key for Alzheimer's treatment. There are very noticeable changes that take place in the brain scans; Alzheimer's prevents nerve cells in the brain from accurately performing their job. This causes the brain to lose function, resulting in many of the symptoms seen above. 

The best way to communicate with your family member who has Alzheimer's is to meet them where they are at, and be aware that this may change from day to day. This disease is completely out of their control, and should not be handled with anger and frustration. It is important for family members to get support during this time, because it can become too big of a physical and emotional burden, especially on family members who also have the responsibility of being the main caregiver.

Here are a few helpful resources in regards to this topic and support for your family:

Support for Alzheimer's/Dementia

Alzheimer's: Dealing with Family Conflict

Affording In Home Healthcare...Can I afford to keep my loved one at home?

One of the main reasons people choose not to invest in in-home healthcare (1 on 1 care) for their loved ones is because of the possible financial burden or the lack or resources the individual has. Comfort of Home Healthcare wants to make in-home healthcare not only comforting and convenient for your family, but also financially affordable. As a business, we try to keep costs down as much as we can, but there are also resources for your family to participate in that will dramatically change your financial outlook on in-home healthcare services. 

But before we get in to some of the resources, Comfort of Home Healthcare would like to point out that if your receive in home care for two people. E.g. Parents/ grand parents
It is very feasible to financially keep your loved ones in their homes!! In a facility setting (nursing home) you will have to pay out of pocket for each person. In home care is priced by staffing and not each individual person. 

This is so important because this will allow you to; 
1. keep your loved ones in their home! 
2. You will have one staff taking care of both of them as opposed to one CNA per 10+ people!

Unfortunately this is not case for most of our clients. For those of you who are looking for care for a loved one (not a couple). Comfort of Home Healthcare has provided a list of resources that will offset costs, for you to consider. Here are several of those resources and how you may qualify to receive these benefits: 
(Not all scenarios work for every person. This simply a list of all options available)

• Veterans Benefits: If you or your loved one was a veteran.

• Veterans Widows Benefits: If you or your loved one was married to a veteran.

• Medicaid: If you meet the financial guidelines to qualify for Medicaid, they have potential opportunities for assistance. 

• Long Term Care Insurance: If you or your loved one has purchased a Long Term Care Insurance Plan.

• Life Insurance: If you or your loved one is terminally ill, a life insurance plan is a valuable resource. 

• Life Insurance (Viatical Settlement): A viatical settlement is the sale of a life insurance policy to a third party, usually a funding company owned by a group of investors. 

• Life Insurance (Loan): A policy owner may be able to make a loan against the cash value of the policy, based on what type of policy is owned. 

• Reverse Mortgage: If you or your loved one has equity in their home, they can probably qualify for a reverse mortgage.

• Area Agency on Ageing: There can be local organizations such as the Area Agency on Ageing that can help with some of the costs of in-home care.

If you have questions about the specific details (contacts and phone numbers) of these resources, Comfort of Home Healthcare would be happy to talk to you about the resources that will best fit your family and your family's individual needs. 

We care about your family and we want to provide the best possible service at the best price for your family!

Elderly Care is a Family Affair

Elderly Care is a Family Affair

Your elderly or disabled loved ones are at crucial points in their life, filled with many changes and new circumstances. During this time your loved one needs support and help in planning their future and making sure all of their needs are properly addressed. No one should walk this road alone, and so the care of your loved one needs to become a family issue. Often family members are the caregivers to their elderly or disabled loved one, so they too may be experiencing many life changes. The best way to care for your family is to make sure that you are coming together as a family, making compromises when necessary, and making decisions based on the needs of the entire family. 

"Seniors are at a vulnerable stage of life. They often face multiple health concerns and loss of physical and cognitive function. More than ever, seniors need the support and love of family members. Seniors often have difficulty expressing their needs, desires and preferences, so they must have someone to advocate for them. And who is more qualified for that than the people who know them better than anyone else in the world?"

To be able to be the advocate for your loved one during this often difficult time, is such a rewarding opportunity. If you and your loved one are able to work together and communicate effectively, this will increase the positive outcomes in both of your lives. 

It is not uncommon for family members to be the sole or primary caregiver for an elderly or disabled family member. "A new study of caregivers says that one out of three adults in the U.S. currently serves as a caregiver." Caregiving is no easy task, and takes up much of the caregivers time and energy. If you are in this position it may be necessary to consider some in-home healthcare options for your family. In addition to this, it is important to ask the right questions when you are considering a plan for your elderly or disabled loved one's care. 

Here are some questions that may be helpful to consider:

• What is the best way to talk to my parents or loved one about their healthcare needs?
• How will the care they need be funded?
• What is the safest, most comfortable, most appropriate care option for my loved one?
• Is there a family member nearby who can be of assistance at a moment's notice?
• What types of services or help does my loved one need-- for instance, bathing, eating, transportation, medications, etc.?
• How do my loved one's religious affiliation and personal preferences influence the care decisions we need to make?
• What types of senior care are available? How do they differ? How does each one address my parents specific needs?

Here is a resource that gives more statistical, and practical information on this subject:

Caring for Elderly and Disabled is a Family Affair

Good Nutrition for Your Loved One

Good Nutrition for Your Loved One

Proper nutrition is always an important aspect of a persons health, but it is especially crucial as people age and begin having health issues. The elderly need to make good nutrition a priority. Good nutrition will help avoid unnecessary health problems and may prolong the amount of quality life they have.

As their body goes through the aging process many changes will be taking place. Their body needs to be taken care of in every way possible. This will keep them as healthy as possible and will give them more energy. 

Sometimes it is hard to know exactly what changes to make in nutrition and eating habits. It is overwhelming to try and figure out a diet that best suits an individual person. There are people out there who can help during this process. The articles below give some good general rules to follow when encouraging your elderly family members to have good nutrition. 

The effects of good nutrition will always be seen in the long-run and will enhance a persons quality of life. Read the articles below to see how you can implement these nutrition tips into your life or your family members life. 

Encouraging Good Nutrition

  Helping your care-receiver develop and maintain a healthy, well-balanced diet can be a considerable challenge, especially if you’re an adult child taking care of an aging parent.
     As a body ages, the digestive system is more prone to heartburn and constipation. Dental problems may make chewing painful. Some medications suppress a person’s appetite or promote weight gain. Depression can bring on a change in appetite. Dad may simply not care about food. If Mom has memory loss, she may forget to eat or may think she has eaten. Finances may be tight. Some older people, after paying rent and utility bills, have little left over for buying food.
     It can also be difficult to eat properly when you’re alone. It’s so much easier to skip a meal or nibble on less nutritious foods when no one else is there.
     And then, too, we each develop our eating habits over a lifetime. While we may know about the basic food groups or the food guide pyramid, that doesn’t mean we always follow those guidelines. Changing lifelong habits is very difficult.

     As the adult child of an aging parent, you can encourage your mother or father to eat well. This doesn’t mean being pushy or disrespectful. It doesn’t mean ignoring a parent’s wishes. In fact, the more your care-receiver is involved in the process, the more likely it is to succeed.

     ●A first step may be to talk to your loved one’s doctor and ask for the help of a nutritionist who can tell you what he or she specifically needs.     Your care-receiver may have to keep a daily journal of exactly what he or she eats. (The results can be surprising, but we would probably all be surprised if we kept track of what we ate each day.) A nutritionist will recommend an appropriate diet — low salt, low sugar, or low fat; high in fiber or calcium; and so forth. Encourage your loved one to keep this diet. When the family gets together, make sure that foods on the diet are included in the menu. Don’t serve your loved one food he or she isn’t supposed to have. 

     ●Check with the pharmacist to find out if any of your care-receiver’s medications would react negatively to particular foods (like milk, for example).

     ●Be careful with vitamin pills. They aren’t a catchall that makes up for poor eating habits. It’s possible to take too many vitamins. And they’re expensive.

     ●Keep in mind that some older people find it easier to eat six smaller meals throughout the day rather than three regular-size ones.

     ●Make food preparation as easy as possible for your care-receiver. Freeze small portions that can be heated in the microwave. Make sure the food looks appealing.

     ●Check out local community resources to see what kinds of meal delivery programs are available. Maybe your parent would like to go to a “nutrition site” at the local senior center and have a hot meal in the middle of the day. Help arrange transportation if needed.

     ●Remember that no one likes to eat the same foods day after day. Encourage your loved one to eat a variety of foods within the prescribed diet, and make sure your care-receiver gets the items he or she prefers.

     ●When grocery shopping, realize it’s easy to fall into the trap of buying only ice cream or cookies or some other single food because “That’s all she wants” or “That’s all he’ll eat.” Like all of us, your loved one would prefer to live on a single, favorite treat; like all of us, he or she needs nutritious food for the best health possible.

Nutrition Tips for the Elderly

Try these 10 simple tips to improve the overall health and nutrition of the ones you love.

1. Serve several small meals rather than 3 large meals. Many elders have a decreased appetite and can only eat small amounts of food at a time. Serving more frequent meals helps make eating less overwhelming and can help provide the nutrition your loved ones need.

2. Provide water frequently. As we age, we lose our sense of thirst. This makes dehydration a common problem in the elderly. Make sure that water is always available and encourage your loved ones to drink even when they are not thirsty.

3. Make meals colorful and attractive. Use different colors, shapes and textures of foods to encourage elders to eat a variety of foods.

4. Use herbs and spices to add flavor. Because taste diminishes as we age, it’s important to make food taste good. Rather than using salt to add flavor, try dill, parsley, cinnamon, nutmeg, onions, lemon and other herbs and spices to make food taste flavorful. 

5. Encourage eating protein. Many elders do not consume enough protein. This can lead to muscle weakness, edema (fluid build-up), fatigue and a decreased ability to fight infection. Good sources of protein include chicken, fish, meat, eggs and milk.

6. Encourage foods high in omega-3 Fatty acids. Foods high in omega-3 fatty acids help decrease the risk of heart disease, decrease inflammation (which can help those suffering from arthritis), and improve mood. Foods high in omega-3 fatty acids include tuna, salmon, sardines and walnuts.

7. Encourage eating foods high in fiber. Eating a high fiber diet can help prevent constipation, a common complaint in elders. Foods high in fiber include whole grains, beans, fruits and vegetables.

8. Encourage eating foods with zinc. In elders, zinc deficiency is common due to an inadequate intake of zinc, decreased absorption of it, increased needs and more interactions with medications. Deficiency can result in decreased appetite and decrease sense of taste already common occurrences in the elderly. Good sources of zinc include fish, poultry, enriched grains and beans.

9. Make mealtimes enjoyable. To encourage eating, make mealtimes enjoyable. Eat with the ones you love, invite guests or simply engage in pleasant conversation.

10. Encourage getting physical activity. Even in the elderly, activity has been shown to be essential for decreasing the risk of chronic disease, maximizing mental capacity and having healthier muscles and bones. It also results in greater flexibility, more lean body mass, a better sense of balance, increased blood flow to the brain, a stronger immune system, less falls (and therefore less broken bones) and better overall health.

Beat the Heat: Tips to Battle Heat Stress among the Elderly

Beat the Heat:

Tips to Battle Heat Stress among the Elderly

As temperatures rise, the elderly have to battle the effects that heat can have on their bodies and everyday activities. As a caretaker or the family member of an elderly loved one, it is crucial that you become aware of the dangers that accompany heat stress in an individual, the signs and symptoms, and the treatment or first aid options you have as a caregiver. Being proactive in this area will help you “beat the heat” when it matters the most.

Heat stress is the general term used to describe the body’s inability to cool itself down; under the umbrella of heat stress are illnesses caused by heat, which include heat cramps, heat exhaustion and heat stroke. The elderly are more susceptible to heat stress for several reasons—the ability to recognize changes in body temperature decreases with age, they have underlying health issues that cause their body to adapt to heat at a slower rate, and prescription medications may make them prone to dehydration or unable to regulate body temperature properly. These added risk factors make the summer season a more dangerous time for seniors and their health.

Being able to recognize common signs and symptoms of heat stress will allow you to approach the hottest time of the year with caution and care for your family. Several of the typical symptoms of heat stress include, but are not limited to:

·       High body temperature

·       Rapid or strong pulse

·       Red, hot, or dry skin

·       Headaches

·       Dizziness or fainting

·       Nausea or vomiting

·       Chest pain

·       Trouble breathing

The severity and fluctuation of symptoms may indicate the level of heat stress that the person is experiencing, whether it be heat cramps, exhaustion, or stroke. The chart below helps to clarify which symptoms align with which heat-induced illness, and gives essential first aid tips for each illness. 

  Taking action and providing appropriate first aid is necessary in situations where signs and symptoms are present, but there are precautions that can be taken in order to avoid heat stress to begin with. Use these tips during high temperatures to help keep not only the elderly safe and healthy, but also yourself and your family.

•  Drink plenty of liquids to avoid dehydration, especially water and juice. Avoid alcoholic or caffeinated drinks.
• Wear appropriate clothing that allows your body to “breathe”; choose light-colored, lightweight, loose-fitting clothing and hats when necessary.
•  Stay inside during the hottest parts of the day. Avoid going out for extended periods of time between the hours of 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
• Take it easy and try to avoid strenuous activity, especially if it is outdoors.
• Watch the heat index, which will help you stay up-to-date on the current conditions.
• Seek out air-conditioned environments to regulate body temperature.
• Get plenty of rest and take a cool shower or bath to cool down.
•  Know the warning signs of heat-related illness and be quick to act when they are present.

For more information, here is a resource on this topic from the CDC:

http://emergency.cdc.gov/disasters/extremeheat/older-adults-heat.asp

We are looking for some outstanding caregivers!!!

Comfort of Home Healthcare is looking for some outstanding people to join our family!

If you are the type of person that longs for meaningful work and not just a job? This is the opportunity for you. It's not every job that you can come home at the end of your shift  knowing that you personally helped another person.

John Wooden said, “You can’t live a perfect day until you do something for someone who will never be able to repay you.” Here at Comfort of Home Healthcare, that's exactly what you get to do!

Right now we are looking for people in two locations. 

We are looking for Direct Care Aids for people with disabilities in the North Kansas City/ Gladstone area. 

Kansas City Job Post Can be Found Here.

We are also hiring for all positions in St. Joseph MO (Immediate need for caregivers who want to work with seniors)

St. Joseph Job Post Can be Found Here.

You can apply for a position in a number of ways. 

• HERE is a link to our application.
• Either Email or Fax it to us. 
• info@comfortofhomehealthcare.com
• Fax 816-901-3054

• Call us anytime from 8am to 4pm, Monday through Friday. 816-671-0298 ask for Melanie.

• If your interested in the St. Joseph area, you can drop by anytime from 8am to 4pm, Monday through Friday. 2207 South 36th Street, St. Joseph MO.

• Kansas City applicants, please set up a phone interview with Melanie at the number above. 

We look forward to hearing from you and hopefully welcome our newest member of the Comfort of Home Healthcare family!

Were Hiring!!!

We still have several job opportunities with Comfort of Home Healthcare.

Please forward this link to anyone you know that might be interested in working for us.

Come on in and fill out an application and you can get an interview on the spot!!!!

We are located at 2207 S 36th Street, St. Joseph MO. (There is some road construction so look at the map below to see the detour on how to get here)

Comfort of Home Healthcare Open Positions: 
(Caregiver Tip: The more available you are on when you can work, the more hours we can give you)

NEW!!!! DAY SHIFTS IN WESTON MO!!!! (Posted 7/28/14)

Personal Care Attendant/Direct Care Aide (Caregiver)

Comfort of Home Healthcare has several of these positions open! We are in the need of part time and full time caregivers.
Comfort of Home Healthcare provides caregiving services in the home of seniors and people with disabilities.
If you are a person who feels compassion for others and is drawn to take care of people, this is the perfect match for you!
All shifts are available, but the majority of our open positions will be either evenings and/or overnights.

Personal Care Attendant/Direct Care Aide (Caregiver) Rosendale/Savannah

Comfort of Home Healthcare is looking for a couple outstanding Direct Care Aide's to work evenings and some weekends in the Rosendale/Savannah area. Will pay mileage to get you there and back.

House Manager

Comfort of Home Healthcare is looking for a outstanding person to fill a management position with our company. Any client of Comfort of Home Healthcare who receives more than 16 hours of service daily will have one person dedicated to manage that particular home.

This position is typically a 40 hour weekly position and works the day shift in that home, but must be available 24/7 to answer questions and take calls from staff in that home.

Link to Comfort of Home Healthcare Application
(for your convenience, just print it and bring it in!)

Map with Detour

Depression and Suicide Prevention

Depression and Suicide Prevention

in the Elderly

There is no age group that is immune to depression, but statistically the elderly suffer with depression resulting in suicide more than any other age group or group of people. Statistics show that the elderly comprise about 13% of the United States population but they are responsible for over 18% of the total suicides in the United States. Even though depression is very common in the elderly this does not mean that it can't be treated. Often the cause of suicide in the elderly is depression that is left untreated or mistreated. 

Depression can result from various changing circumstances, but is ultimately a chemical imbalance in the brain. The symptoms of depression can be recognized more quickly if you are aware of what you should be looking for in yourself or in your loved one. It is vital that depression does not go untreated, because it will result in a low quality of life and could lead to attempted suicide. 

Here are a few warning signs that someones may be struggling with depression:

• Loss of interest in things or activities that were previously found enjoyable. 
• Cutting back on social interactions, self-care, and grooming.
• Breaking medical regiments. (Such as prescriptions, diets, etc.)
• Expecting or experiencing a significant personal loss.
• Feeling hopeless and/or worthless.
• Loss of appetite, loss of energy, and weight loss.
• Insomnia and restlessness.
• Suddenly putting affairs in order, giving things away, or making changes to wills.
• Stock-pilling medication or obtaining other lethal means.
• Preoccupation with death or a lack of concern about personal safety.
• Expression of suicidal intent. 

In addition to specific warning signs that you can keep watch for, there are also specific characteristics or situations that may put a person at high risk for depression. A person does not need to have all of these characteristics, but these characteristics may be contributing factors to putting someone at a higher risk for depression. Some of these include:

• Increased age.
• White male.
• Divorced.
• A major psychiatric disorder.
• Misuse of alcohol or drugs.
• Any medical illness.
• Family discord.
• Financial trouble.
• Physical disability.
• Unrelieved pain, or chronic pain.
• Loss and/or grief. 
• Social isolation or solitary living.
• Inability to face and manage crises. 

If you recognize any of these characteristics or warning signs in yourself or your loved one, it is necessary to get help right away. The best way to get help is to visit your doctor and be honest about what is being experienced, from there your doctor can assess your well-being and take the steps they feel necessary to better your health. Your doctor will have more information about medications that need to be given or taken away, and about lifestyle changes that may need to take place.

Your loved one needs to know that the lines of communication are open, because it may be a daunting task for them to come to you about the problems associated with depression. If you are more aware of the symptoms, you will be more effective in preventing depression and suicide in your loved one. 

Unfortunately, the chances of suffering with depression or knowing someone who is suffering with depression is extremely likely. In the case of depression, awareness may be prevention. We must be ready to act when we are faced with these situations, especially in our families. 

This article will give more research based information about depression and suicide in the elderly: Suicide in the Elderly

Missouri Business Development Program; Comfort of Home Healthcare

Hey, check it out! Comfort of Home Healthcare was highlighted in piece from the Missouri Business Development program!!!

Original Article Can Be Found Here!

Comfort of Home Healthcare, LLC – St. Joseph

Jason Douglas, co-owner and co-founder of Comfort of Home Healthcare, LLC, a home health care service based in St. Joseph with a satellite office in Gladstone slated to open later this year, didn’t start adult life as a health care entrepreneur.

He was a relief pitcher for the Missouri Western State University Griffons.

His repertoire included a wicked curve ball that had opposing hitters flailing away — or “They’d hit it 400 feet!” he laughs. He threw in the low 80s — good enough for college, but he knew the majors would be a long, hard climb. “I chased a lot of foul balls, raked the infield dirt a lot,” he admits.

The curve ball life threw at him when first his father, then father–in-law, then mother-in-law became incapacitated requiring round the clock care was tougher to handle. His father passed away at home with family present and hospice care; his mother-in-law too. Not so his father-in-law. Staying on top of the often unprofessional caregivers was virtually a job in itself, he recalls. With all this going on, he still held down jobs with the National Multiple Sclerosis Society’s St. Joseph branch, Blue Sky Home Care and Midland Empire Resources for Independent Living, where he saw what good caregiving looked like.

Tad Ulmer’s (left) son, Douglas (center) suffered traumatic brain injury in an auto accident. Jason Douglas is on the right.

Meanwhile in St. Joseph, truck driver Tad Ulmer received the phone call every parent dreads. His teenage son had been badly injured in a car accident and had been rushed to the hospital. Then things got even worse. He learned his son had suffered traumatic brain injury and would never walk again — in fact, would never feed, dress or bathe himself again, requiring 24-hour care. Ulmer too was frustrated with the care his son received at nursing homes; he says he believes staff stole and he saw them berate his son. When he registered a complaint, one provider suddenly stopped coverage.

The energetic, entrepreneurially minded Douglas had also been taking classes on entrepreneurship and small business through the SBTDC in St. Joseph. He and Ulmer met at a chamber event and clicked, realizing their vision of caring, professional at-home care could be more than a vision.

Douglas then met with Rebecca Evans, director of the SBTDC in St. Joseph, and began bombarding her with questions about partnerships, how to write a business plan, labor and employment law, office space, alternative financing and much more.

Finding office space was surprisingly easy. Evans knew that Mo-Kan, the regional planning and economic development group in St. Joseph serving northwest Missouri and northeast Kansas, needed new businesses for its incubator. “Originally, we were just going to work out of our homes,” says Douglas. “Mo-Kan leased us space for $175 a month.”

This building in St. Joseph is home to Comfort of Home administrative services.

Financing was tougher to field. The business didn’t require a great deal of outlay, mainly payroll; even so, Douglas had to cash in his retirement plan, sell the family Toyota and more just to issue paychecks. Banks were reluctant to loan two inexperienced businessmen the capital for an untried venture. Together, however, the team explored and secured a low-interest loan from the state of Missouri, enough to get the fledgling business off the ground.

The first months were terrifying, Douglas says, but his faith and the help of the SBTDC pulled him though. “We had to sell almost everything we owned!” he says. “There was no money the first few months, not a dime. But you don’t know what you’re capable of when there’s no other option. It really makes you focus when you are a trapeze artist and the net is taken from underneath you.

“We were also smart enough to realize when you don’t know what you don’t know, and we found someone who does know what she knows … Sometimes the Lord makes you sweat it a little bit.”

Evans even secured a video segment for the partners with TV station KQTV, shown at the St. Joseph chamber’s annual banquet, among other venues.

“Now we are off and running!” Douglas says. “We jumped in the deep end and we found ourselves swimming.”

And he and Ulmer have never looked back. The firm today has 70 and plans to hire 20 more employees; has around 40 private and two public (Missouri Division of Mental Health, Medicaid) clients; enjoyed gross sales of more than a million and a quarter last year; and is negotiating to locate a second office in Gladstone, north Kansas City.

Douglas says the firm’s largest obstacle by far has been finding the right people. (Yes, he’s also acting HR director.) He and Ulmer first looked at candidates’ prior experience, certifications and the like, but now Douglas says he looks more for character. Skills can be taught. Caring and steadfastness can’t.

“I say [in interviews], If you’re just looking for just a job, there’s Taco Bell right down there. There’s a bank there. We need people who want to help other people.” In fact, he says he won’t let anyone enter a home he wouldn’t have in his own home.

The partners and their families have suffered and emerged not just better people, but better business people. Douglas knows, however, that he doesn’t have all the answers.

He does have the answer to the age-old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg.

In business, “They come at the same time! That’s the answer.”

Caregiver Grief: The Prolonged Goodbye

Caregiver Grief

The Prolonged Goodbye

Grief can be experienced as a result of various situations and events in a persons life, and the intense sorrow they experience will most likely disrupt their everyday life. The nature of a caregiver's grief needs to be understood before help can be given to individuals who find themselves in this position. Caregiver grief may be slightly different , while the process is similar, it is often multi-faceted and prolonged. 

"Many caregivers of the aging or the ill experience anticipatory grief, or grieving prior to the actual death of the person. Particularly with those dealing with dementia, caregivers experience the "death" of the person as the mind dies but the body remains behind. The grief a caregiver experiences is still as real, as if the person had died." (http://comfortdoc.squidoo.com)

This anticipatory grief causes a caregiver to go through the grief process multiple times before a death actually occurs. Often a caregiver is so close to the loved one that they experience new grief as their loved one goes through various stages of their illness. Every illness will bring different experiences, emotions, and ultimately different grief. As a caregiver experiences a "long goodbye" they will often go through emotions such as: depression, hurt, sadness, anger, weepiness, despair, and eventually relief. 

This relief may come in many forms-- from the effects of grief counseling, the support of a friend, or an unexpected moment of joy that life may bring. A caregiver may feel guilty during these moments of joy, laughter, and happiness, but this should not be the case. There is help for the caregiver who is willing to be helped. Grief counseling is always a good option for caregivers, and it will help the caregiver through the process of grief and provide them the support they need during this time. 

Every caregiver may experience the stages of grief in a different order, time frame, and to varying degrees. A grief counselor would help an individual with their specific needs, emotions, and experiences. " Grief is our normal, natural, and necessary response to loss. Its flip-side, bereavement (or mourning), is the process of responding to, and ultimately surviving loss." (http://www.webmd.com)

These two articles will help you  better understand the grieving process and how to go about getting help for yourself, your loved one, or someone you know.

Caregiver Grief and Bereavement

Various Resources on Caregiver Grief

When the Parent-Child Roles Reverse

As your parents age there will be many changes in the relationship you have with them, as a result of declining health and possible personality changes. These changes will often cause the parent-child roles to reverse. Below are some articles that hopefully will be of some help to you during this challenging time in your life. 

Adapting to a Reversed Way of Life 

(Article from CSA, original article linked in title)

Aging is a part of life and something that most individuals will experience. Reversing the role between parent and child is one of the most difficult challenges within the aging process. As a child, you want to respect the wishes and independence of your weakening parent and help them to avoid being a victim of their failing competence but doing so can be a tough transition. As challenging as it can be, parents need to learn how to adapt to this intricate and frightening shift of life.
Parenting your parent will take patience, this holds especially true if mom and dad become difficult. But keep in mind that your elders are now adapting to not only a life of dependency but to a reversed role in life where their own child is now in charge of the decision-making. Adult children must sympathetically understand how this changing role can lead to anger, frustration, fear, stubbornness and resistance in their aging parent. Recognizing these feelings and accepting them will only help managing their care a much smoother transition.
For the adult child, adjusting to the role of parenting mom and dad can be uncomfortable and frustrating. These new, and at times unexpected, responsibilities not only add a great deal of stress but can be a large burden on your life. Getting support from others is imperative but one may not always know who to turn to. Consider reaching out to:

• Family Members
• Friends
• Professional Counselors
• Caregiver Support Groups
• Clergy

To better assist you, your clients and their loved ones, the Society of Certified Senior Advisors created this handout to include excerpts from individuals who have experienced this changing role in life.

• "Countless hours of working with seniors, and my experiences with my own aging parents, have taught me that as parents age, the dynamics of the parent-child relationship change dramatically. It can result in compromised care and can threaten the very core of the family unit."
• "As long as the boundaries and responsibilities remain unchallenged, the dynamics of the parent-child/child-parent relationship continue to work smoothly; but when aging parents begin to need assistance, an interesting transition occurs: the adult children assume the caregiving role of parents."
• "A person’s life cycle is one great circle. We had caregivers in the beginning and many of us will need caregivers in the end. If we are lucky, the people whom we love most will be present to assist us in the completion of our life’s journey. Acceptance of this cycle can improve the quality of all our lives. It also completes the circle of love."

When utilizing this informative material, it will help you to nurture your clients and their loved ones and sympathize with them as they begin the process of a reversed role. Allow yourself to be not only their professional expert but their trusted source when needed.

When the Parent-Child Roles Reverse
(Article from your ageing parent.com, original article linked in title)

     Cook. Chauffeur. All-around fix-it person. Financial officer. Problem solver. Protector. The list goes on and on. Any parent owns a lot of different hats when he or she is raising children and running a household. Some are worn proudly; others grudgingly. No matter how they're worn, everyone in the family knows they belong to each parent. There are his. There are hers. Until . . . .

     Until everything begins to change as your parent ages and you must start to assume more and more of those responsibilities for Dad or Mom. As you must start to fill the roles that were always his or always hers.

     It's not easy to watch these changes happen in your parent. When Dad can no longer drive the car or handle paying the bills. When Mom isn't able to cook or take care of the house.

     It's not easy to be a part of those changes. Not for your parent or for you.

     It's understandable that an aging parent may have a difficult time giving up those favorite tasks. Maybe Dad is known for his beautiful garden. Mom for her wonderful family dinners. Now someone else will be clipping the hedge or making the pot roast and your parent knows that person can't do the job as well as he or she did. It may seem that other person isn't just doing it differently, that person is doing it wrong!

     Your parent may argue, "Just who says I can't do that anymore? You? Why, I was doing that when you were in diapers. Doing it before you were born."

     It's no wonder your help is sometimes met with resistance and anger, is seen as interference rather than assistance.

     On the other hand, maybe you don't want to assume so many of those responsibilities but see you must. Maybe you can't have everything just the way Mom did for dinners with the extended family. Maybe you don't know how to fix Dad's car and so—heaven forbid! —you have to hire someone else to do it. ("A stranger? You're throwing away good money on a stranger to change the oil?")

     These are some suggestions:

     ● If you find yourself and your parent reversing roles, keep in mind that you need to be gentle about the changes that have to be made. Go slowly. Don't suddenly charge in and take control. Start with small things.

     ● If at all possible, let your parent still play a part. For example, maybe Mom can't host Thanksgiving dinner but can still make her famous gravy for it. Maybe Dad can’t go crawling around under the car but can accompany you when you "both take it in" to a 30-minute oil-change shop.

     ● Keep in mind there's another important role that reverses as your parent ages. Growing up, Mom or Dad was the one who chased away the bogeyman, the one who made everything better. Now he or she is scared. Aging—preparing to die—isn't easy.

     Now it's up to you to comfort Mom. To reassure her. Not to make everything all right—you both know that can't be done—but to try to make it better than it is right now.

     Watching Dad grow old and lose abilities isn't easy either. It's frightening. But now you're supposed to be the one who is strong and brave. Now you can't lean on him because he needs to lean on you.

     This is a special time in the relationship between you and your parent. It's a strange and confusing time that brings new challenges as it exposes new facets of the love you share. It's a precious time.

Taking Away the Car Keys

Taking Away the Car Keys

Talking to Your Loved One About Giving Up the Car Keys

There comes a point when driving is no longer a safe option for seniors. The decision to take away the car keys from a parent or other family member is not an easy decision to make. It will most likely affect the entire dynamic of the family and personally affect your loved one. For many seniors, their car keys represent an important piece of their independence. Losing the ability to safely drive will eliminate some of their freedom and independence. This loss may cause feelings of isolation and even depression. 

In addition to the affects it may have on your loved one, it will also require that other family members step up and figure out a plan for proper transportation for your loved one. They will still want to be able to get out of the house and will need to continue a routine that is as normal as possible. It is often not possible for them to solely rely on public transportation, and some may not be comfortable with this. A schedule might need to be arranged so that various family members are helping with the transportation needs of your loved one. 

Asking your aging loved one to hand over their car keys may not be as simple as it sounds. It may take some convincing for them to realize that this is the safest option for them. If their health is declining in a way that negatively affects their driving, some action needs to be taken. Gently expressing your concerns and effectively communicating your reasons for wanting to take away their car keys may help them better understand why this is the best choice for them. 

To know exactly when this decision needs to be made, there are some specific signs to watch for and be aware of. In the articles below you will learn about how to communicate with your loved one about this decision and when the best time to talk to them would be. 

Helping Your Parents Give Up the Car Keys

When Should Seniors Give Up the Car Keys?